Jesu Juva
St. Matthew 19:4-6
January 4, 2025
Wedding Sermon
Dear Elizabeth and Nick,
Friends and family,
Well, we made it. Here we are: January 4, 2025—which also happens to be the eleventh day of Christmas. If you had asked my opinion about a Christmas wedding, I probably would have said something like, “Well, I don’t know. Have you considered a less hectic time of the year? A warmer time of the year perhaps?” Fortunately, you didn’t ask my opinion; and it turns out, Christmas is a great time to get married!
The Christmas now concluding is, actually, a lot like last year’s Christmas. In fact, Christmas is almost always the same—lights, decorations, and trees—family, food, and carols—angels, shepherds, and manger—Mary, Joseph, and Jesus. It’s all so predictable.
Yet for all the routine traditions, Christmas exerts a mysterious power over us. Every year we come through these twelve days, and we are different. Christmas changes us. God’s Word has its way with us. And like the Wisemen, we too depart from Bethlehem by a different way.
We pass through these dimly lit days and discover we are not alone. God Himself has joined us in the flesh of Jesus Christ. And this Jesus brings light to our darkness. He is Immanuel—God with us. He comes to save us from our sins. He is mysteriously God and man—divine and human. And by the way, this is no downgrade for Jesus. His incarnation is no demotion. That’s because He assumes our humanity into His divinity. Long story short, it’s a huge upgrade for us. In the manger we see how much God loves us. And as we each receive that swaddled, mangered love in faith, we are made different. Christmas changes us.
Nick and Elizabeth, today you will be changed. You will leave here different than when you arrived. In the sight of God and His church, you will be changed and nothing will ever be the same again. Today the two of you will be joined into an exclusive, holy union of heart and body and mind. Don’t be deceived by how predictable and traditional this all seems. People get married all the time, right?—white dress, flowers, cake, dancing. But in, with, and under all of that—mysteriously—God is at work to change you. Something altogether new is happening.
This mystery is both profound and simple. Today’s Scripture readings capture the marvel of marriage this way: A man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate. Today, before God and these witnesses, two become one. You will be changed; and nothing will ever be the same again.
This doesn’t mean, Elizabeth, that you will cease to be the uniquely wonderful and talented person you have always been (now kindly caring for the dental health of hundreds). This doesn’t mean, Nick, that you will cease to be the uniquely wonderful and talented person you have always been (now responding first to danger with calm compassion). This change from two to one—it’s not a downgrade! Your union isn’t a demotion; but a huge upgrade for you both. It allows both of you to experience God’s gifts and grace more fully and completely—to delight in your humanity, and to draw more deeply from our Lord’s divine gifts of forgiveness, life, and salvation.
Today you two become one, united in Christ as husband and wife. This change can only happen with the totality of you, holding nothing back, without reservation or hesitation. You are all in. The very core of your identity will be changed. In just a few minutes your answer to the question, “Who am I?” will change: I am Elizabeth’s husband. I am Nick’s wife—totally and completely, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part. To each other you give yourself, and are given to—fully exposed and open to each other, your new life being full to the brim with promise and possibility. No one on earth can give you such happiness as the other; but neither can anyone give you such pain.
That pain will be prompted by all that seeks to divide you, and drive you apart, and separate what God is joining together. Your own sinful natures will always seek to pull you away from God’s promises—urging you to hold back, and withhold, and serve yourself first. In Matthew 19 the faithless Pharisees asked Jesus about marriage. Or, more accurately, they asked Him about divorce. They were looking to explore the legal loopholes, the exceptions and the exclusions, so as to maneuver around God’s will for husbands and wives. We all do that. Every husband and every wife must constantly struggle to shed all sinful, self-serving ways—which threaten to fracture the bond that God is creating.
Jesus lets us in on a breath-taking secret concerning these very nuptials. It turns out, all is not as it appears. He says: What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate. Hidden in that sentence from the Savior is a glorious truth—a truth we dare not overlook. I am named as the “officiant” of this wedding; in fact, I’ll sign the marriage license; but I’m not the one joining you together. Nor will it be by the power of your own promises that you will be joined until death parts you. God is the one who joins you together. Behind your vows and promises—in, with, and under the prayers and praises we offer this afternoon—there stands Jesus. The same Jesus born in Bethlehem, who loved us and gave Himself up for us, to save us from all our selfish, self-serving ways.
Elizabeth and Nick, when the path before you seems painful or difficult or even impossible—trust this Jesus who has joined you together. The God who created heaven and earth—the God who created male and female—the God who claims you as His very own in Holy Baptism—this God is creating something wonderfully new and marvelous in our midst right now. Two times in Matthew 19 the disciples of Jesus become overwhelmed and exasperated at Jesus’ teaching: This is too much! We can’t do it! It’s more than we can manage! And Jesus says: You got that right. It is too much for you—but not for God. With God all things are possible (v.26). So, you two are no longer two—but one flesh—joined together inseparable by God.
Elizabeth and Nick, no matter how much you will give and sacrifice for one another in the years ahead, Jesus will give more. He always gives more than we can imagine or hope for. Jesus has also sacrificed more. In fact, our Lord’s words about marriage were spoken as He made His way up to Jerusalem to offer Himself for us—in the stead of every sinner—on Calvary’s cross. He died for all, so that a world separated by sin might be joined to Jesus in His holy body, the church. And after that, in the resurrection and the life eternal that sin and death cannot destroy.
Confident in the forgiveness and love of Jesus, you are about to make some staggeringly bold promises and pledges—looking not for loopholes and exit routes—but without reservation. You may fear that your love for one another might wear thin at times. But fear not: for the love of Jesus will never fail. Accompanying your love through all the ups and downs will be His love.
His love for you will be most manifest and obvious right here in this sacred space, where you will gather again and again, as husband and wife to hear His promises and receive His gifts. Here you will gather, but it will be different going forward. It won’t be like it has been. For you will be changed—no longer two, but one flesh—joined together by Jesus.
In Him is life to the full. Within His larger love, your love for one another can grow and deepen through every joy and sorrow shared. On every Eleventh Day of Christmas going forward, you will be given the opportunity to pause and ponder in your heart the marvel of how God changed everything for you on this day. He has so much more to give you—more than you can even dream of. But now, in the beginning days of this New Year, you make a very good beginning as you are married—completely and totally and unreservedly, in Jesus’ name. Amen.
